Sorry for the Wait

Written by Danelle I apologize for being away for such a long time. Life has paralyzed me in a way from my decision making. But I want to share a piece of my life with y’all, so here I am.

I assist other birthmoms, just having open communications with them, and I was discussing the triad previously, and the support each point on that triad gets, and the lack thereof for birthparents. As adoption changes and grows, and more adoptees’ voices and adoptive parents’ voices are advocating for openness, people are starting to care about the birthparent’s voice, about the birthparent’s opinion–all points of view for birthparents are not negative, which is something that happens a lot in the media. It’s a wonderful time in adoption in terms of progressing and growing. However, we have so much more to do.

And that’s why I’m so proud to be an active part of growth in my own open adoption. As my kids get older and the dynamics of adoption change, I start to get as scared as I was when it first started. You know, teens don’t really care about adults–they are looking towards learning who they are and their freedoms. I get scared that I won’t fit into the puzzle that they make for themselves as adults. I don’t know why–it’s probably an irrational fear, but it’s a fear nonetheless. I am also very close with Dawn, because she feels like one of my own, and I worry that I won’t be an active part of her life either when she gets older. Also probably an irrational fear, but it’s a fear nonetheless. It’s an unknown, and my mind always goes towards the most negative outcome of how things can work–I’ve had a lot of negative things happen in my life, so to protect myself, I think of the worst thing first and progress from there. And I’m so very lucky that my worst thing didn’t happen in my adoption story, but I keep looking for it, and I don’t know how to turn that off.

I say that to say, no matter what’s going on in anybody’s life–the world is weird right now–and I just wanted to leave a positive note because I’ve been feeling very negative, as you can tell by the lack of posts. But on a positive note, life is hard and it’s rough and it’s bumpy, it’s messy.

But if you look–if you pay attention–the worst outcome didn’t happen in every aspect of your life. You may have some. We all have some where we’re like, “Oh man, I hope this doesn’t happen–that would be the worst”–and it happens. But there are also ways that you looked at and you were like, “This is going to happen this way because that’s my life..” And it doesn’t!

And that’s how my adoption story turned out. Instead of the worst outcome, it ended up being the best. And the progression of my adoption–of course, I keep putting negatives in there ’cause I look for them–it can’t all be good because that’s not how my life works. But I’m happy to say that it’s been great, and I am very thankful.

I thank everyone who decided to log on and read a post about how we make our adoption work. It’s important that people understand that this does work for the progression of adoptions in the future. Thank you for reading, thank you for subscribing, thank you for stopping by, thank you for supporting. I apologize for my long absence, and I’ll try to do better in the future.