How to Succeed in 3 Steps

Written by Stephanie As you may know, I’ve been working for a leadership development and executive coaching company for several years now, which means I’ve had the opportunity and the tools to study what it takes to succeed, particularly in talent-based situations. I’ve been motivated not only by the desire to help my kids as they contemplate the future–especially our future NBA star–but also in my own journey to becoming a published author (which is happening–see my other blog at http://www.utahpoliticalemancipation.wordpress.com!)

What I’ve been able to identify looks easy, almost simplistic, but it’s much harder to actually do. And the timeframe can be tricky, too. But without further ado, here are the three steps:

1. Figure out what you really want. Simple, right? Honestly, this might be the hardest part. Again, take our future NBA star. What he really wants is to be rich and famous. Earlier, he had thought being an actor or a rockstar would be the better route to his true goal. But now, to quote him, basketball is life. In my case, I’ve known ever since I discovered Nancy Drew mysteries as an 8-year-old that I wanted to be a writer, but for years and years, I didn’t realize I could write nonfiction instead. More to the point for most people–or at least for the other children in this family–identifying what you want to be may not be clear or may be hard to narrow down. And that’s before we even talk about how it can change over time…
2. Get really good at it. Practice, take the classes, do the work, and then do all that again This can also take years, if not decades, and the more you work at it, the more you’ll feel yourself falling short. In my case, it took writing a dissertation for me to finally get over my lack of confidence in my writing–a lack inculcated over years of taking English classes and getting negative feedback. But by the end of a recursive writing experience that yielded 300 final pages, I had written my way into an unexpectedly easy relationship with stringing words together and playing with them until they’re just right.
3. Don’t give up. Again, this would seem to be simple. But it often means sticking with it through so much discouragement. Because the defeats will come, and the sense that you’ve achieved excellence is fleeting at best. It definitely takes resilience and creativity and grit in the face of rejection and even full-on failure. Fun fact: as a graduate student, I entered a writing contest that, rather than acknowledging either of my creative nonfiction pieces, chose instead to give no awards in that category. Ouch.

So that’s the list. Definitive? No. But seriously, can you think of anyone who’s succeeded that hasn’t done these three things?