Written by Danelle Henden. Depression has been something I’ve struggled with since I was 5 years old. I don’t truly know if it was a chemical imbalance or the emotional and sexual trauma that I experienced from that age to my teen years. It can be hard to sit and write about things so hard to process, you deal with them still almost 30 years later. I used poetry as an outlet, so in honor of that, I have a few poems now that may hint at the topic. I hope they are as well received as my blog post.
Lost in Sadness
Where is happiness I should like to go there to feel alive
However, Did I miss a turn and go down depression drive
Where are the cheerful trees, these are all full of Despair
Why are these streets so despondent, is there something in the air
Why can’t I find joy? Is it hiding somewhere?
I’ve searched for so long and sent up so many prayers
Is there a quota I didn’t fill or a requirement unmet
Is it like credit and I just have a negative Joyfulness debt
How long do I have to spend jailed in melancholy
Before I’m release and free to enjoys smile and be jolly
Why is it free for some and expensive for others
Is not consistent not even with Sister’s and Brothers
I’d like to be happy consistently so
I’d like the direction, can you tell me, do you know?
Am I a mother can that be so
I gave birth but I also watched you go
Am I a mother can I call me one
I felt you kick but still my dependents are none
Am I a mother can it be true
I show you love but I’ve never kissed wound
Am I a mother what does it mean
I see you but will you still care when you’re a teen
Am I a mother even on mother’s day
I worry like one but do you know of my display
I am a mother that’s what I believe
I care as such, love as much, and will never leave
I am a mother untraditionally so
That doesn’t make me less than just different, you know.
I am a mother, my kids have two
They are doubly loved because That’s what mothers do.