When Change Feels Like God Forgot You

Written by Danelle. In the words of the great Langston Hughes, “Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” I’ve always been a spiritual person. However, I thought God forgot about me at times. Being able to go see the twins every week or so was the thing I always thought of when I was asked, “Think of one thing you can thank God for.”

When that changed and they moved, I thought, “Well, the other shoe has dropped—I am forgotten again.” That was not at all the case, but depression makes the world much bleaker than it really is. That being said, I did feel like I’d lost my dreams of what the future might look like. I had to reevaluate what this adoption was and would be.

It felt like my adoption was starting all over again. We tried Skype but getting children to sit and talk on a schedule just did not work at all. I felt like I was losing my connection with Dawn, with the twins, and with Steph & Ron. It was not a good time for me. However, we found an app that worked, and I made sure to make it down for their birthdays every year.

Then the pandemic happened, and I thought, “If I’m working from home anyway, why not work from where they live?” After some aggressive life coaching, a bit of luck, and a blessing or two, I see the kids once a week or so, once again.

And even does Dani’s hair!

Published by Danelle Henden & Stephanie Lundeen

Danelle: I am an HR professional with a keen interest in psychology and in adoption activiwsm. I work with a nonprofit that supports adoption, On Your Feet Foundation. Stephanie: I am a writer and editor with a background in education (I have taught English as a Second Language, college writing, and college literature courses).

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