Author Archives: Danelle and Stephanie

Written by Stephanie Lundeen I want to kick off this new year by thanking you, our readers. I’ve heard from several of you in the past few weeks, and your encouragement and appreciation rekindled the flame that had nearly burned out. Something about 2021 was deeply exhausting, taking its toll in unexpected ways. Enter thatContinue reading “Adapting to change”

Mama’s baby, Daddy’s maybe — I grew up hearing this before I really knew where babies came from. It took me a long time to even try to write this post. I don’t really want to explore the circumstances of my pregnancy. It is one of the aspects of my adoption I still have someContinue reading “Mama’s baby, Daddy’s maybe”

By Stephanie. Yes, it’s been a while. Like, a long while. Partially, I’ve been so ridiculously busy that even showering has been a rare treat (which I’m only admitting because our relationship is entirely virtual). Also, wading into another weighty topic has required more strength than I’ve been able to muster: as I kept turningContinue reading ““We don’t have birthfathers.””

Written by Danelle Henden. Depression has been something I’ve struggled with since I was 5 years old. I don’t truly know if it was a chemical imbalance or the emotional and sexual trauma that I experienced from that age to my teen years. It can be hard to sit and write about things so hardContinue reading “Not Your Average Mother’s Day Poems”

In some ways, the year 2020 has been a long tutorial in grief, and that has helped me process so much of what I experienced during the adoption process. I now realize that, weird as it sounds, I grieved the loss of being pregnant. When Dawn was a baby, a friend joked that I’d gottenContinue reading “That uncomfortable feeling has a name”

Written by Danelle Henden. Depression is like being in the middle of the ocean. You try your hardest to swim out of it, but it never feels like you have made it anywhere. I’ve dealt with depression since I was a child. It has a revolving door entry into my life. When I became pregnant,Continue reading “Depression”

For a couple years, our Saturday mornings were all about hip hop dance. Ron and I would take turns (depending on whatever else was going on) taking the kids to classes at Supreme Dance Studio, where I looked forward to seeing my kids enjoy a serious workout while gaining some great skills and a bitContinue reading “Almost despairing”

Written by Danelle Henden. When I was 9 or 10 years old, I wanted twins and I had the names picked out – the first name and the middle name but no last name as of yet. It is funny how life plays out. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it wasContinue reading “Choices”

Nothing kills a conversation quite like the topic of infertility, at least in my experience. Well-meaning but nosy older relative: “So why are you putting off having kids?” Me: “Actually, I had surgery for an ovarian cyst a couple months ago and…” Result: silence. I learned pretty quickly to substitute this response: “Well, Ron andContinue reading “Choosing to be chosen”

Written by Danelle Henden. One of the most consistent questions I get, once I tell someone my story, is, “Did you have any support?” The answer… Not really! I was totally in the closet about my pregnancy. I was very fearful of people’s opinions of me if they found out. I was a first-generation collegeContinue reading “Somebody in your corner”