Do you have any kids?

Written by Danelle Henden. This is a hard question! Before becoming a birth mom, I easily answered this dating 101 question. Now, however, I feel funny with whatever answer I give. I’ve tried to find clever ways to answer it: “I’m not raising any kids yet,” or “I don’t have that responsibility as of rightContinue reading “Do you have any kids?”

“Don’t you want your own kids?”

As you likely know, attitudes towards adoption vary across cultures. I’ve heard, from a friend with firsthand knowledge of both, that Samoan and Yupik cultures are traditionally adoption-positive, whereas I had a Japanese student who wrote a research paper asserting that abortion is a far better solution to an unwanted pregnancy than adoption. (Yeah, thatContinue reading ““Don’t you want your own kids?””

Getting to know you

There is absolutely nothing comforting about the NICU, the intensive care unit for newborns. At least, not during the ten-day stretch we experienced it, at Stroger Hospital in Chicago about a decade ago. The majority of the infants had been born prematurely, and all were fighting for their lives. Their tiny, fragile bodies were housedContinue reading “Getting to know you”

Scared every day.

If you had asked me, twenty years ago, to name examples of police brutality, systemic racism, or white privilege, I couldn’t have. Sure, I would have agreed that such things existed, but I thought of them as some other era’s problem, or some other nation’s. Coming off of some really ugly experiences with male privilegeContinue reading “Scared every day.”

So how does this work, with two moms?

As I mentioned on the Home page, in my experience, people are generally too polite to ask anything super personal about our family. I appreciate that, because we just want to function like normal people (and, naturally, we do consider ourselves to be normal people). But, despite the general reluctance, the question that has comeContinue reading “So how does this work, with two moms?”

This all started back in 2002…

Where to begin? Okay, we’ll start with moving to Chicago in August, 2002, right after Ron and I got married. There’s a whole crazy relationship story before that, which I’ll probably share at some other point. But he was in law school and I was finishing up my thesis to get my Master’s degree. WeContinue reading “This all started back in 2002…”